Friday, August 28, 2009

Homeless in Ohio

Nope, I have not abandoned my blog. Instead, I have been enjoying a summer with lots of company and a bit of travel. When reservations began to come into our unofficial B and B, I told myself to just enjoy these treasured times with friends and family and not torture myself about gaps (Big Gaps) in my writing. My father is known for saying "Your day will come." Well, the day to return to writing has come. I hope you are still with me.

This summer has brought a long awaited change. A couple weeks ago we became Homeless In Ohio, a phrase my husband proclaims with delight. After almost two years we sold our home/farm, Sweetwater Farm, and we are now delighted to be the holders of one mortgage only.

The Story: Early in July we were in Ohio to visit our son and daughter-in-love and also to check on the house. We have been extremely fortunate to have a wonderful caretaker for the house and property, but nonetheless we were not looking forward to seeing the empty house and abandoned gardens. I felt myself dreading the return. We did not doubt our decision to move to Wisconsin, but our happy years at Sweetwater Farm had taken a back seat to the stress of owning two homes. The last few months Bruce had suggested that perhaps, in fact, we would not sell it, and Sweetwater Farm would become our second home. I resisted that idea, not wanting to think about that possibility. That notion felt like moving backwards in time.

Well, as we drove up the driveway, I began to feel my heart lift, even soar, almost taking off on its own when I walked into the house. All the love I felt for that home and our life there overwhelmed me as I walked through the now empty house. I had worried seeing it empty would be depressing and that it would look shabby or tired to me, but instead I saw its light and charm and in some ways it looked even better in its spacious emptiness than when full of our belongings.

Being there lifted my spirit because I felt once again the spirit of that place. I no longer feared owning it for a long time. In fact, I could now envision having it as our second home, spending chunks of time there, and I LOVED that image of the future. I remembered with an open heart all the love in that place and how that place nurtured all who entered. I replaced the fear with love.

Two days later we got a serious offer which, after some back and forth, we accepted. Who knows if that shift in perspective was the gravitational pull that caused the heavens to open and to move the offer, but I felt an opening of my heart and I felt changed. I had been so sure that what I needed to do during those many months of waiting was to let go. I actually thought I had done a good job of that. In reality, there was an additional step. I needed to love what was in front of me--not just accept the given situation, but LOVE it. That kind of re-attachment brought me new freedom, and I truly was able to let go and let it all be as it was and was going to be.

Now I think of the new owners and pray their days will be full of joy and blessing in their new home. For a brief moment in time we had the privilege of being stewards for Sweetwater Farm. Now it is time for someone else.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, this makes me miss Sweetwater Farm! We had so many wonderful times there as a family - such wonderful memories: Geof and Cricket's wedding, snowshoeing in the "backyard," little Maren staring up at Ada the llama, the Burton County Fair . . . . But now we are on our way to creating lots of memories in Middleton!